Monday, March 17, 2014

What I have learned this week.....and.....Pray like Enos until you get your answer.

Well, I want everyone to know that I'm okay. Sorry I haven't been the happiest person in the world for the last couple of weeks. I have been very humbled and have spent a lot of time "kicking against the pricks". But, I truly feel like a different person and I have grown a lot. Yep, conclusion of it all. I love the Savior, and I love that I have access to the atonement. Because I need it every single day. Words can't express how truly thankful that I am to have the knowledge of my savior, and the ability to repent and be better. I am also thankful that God loves us each enough to answer our individual prayers. Please forgive me for not seeing the blessings that I have. I truly love each of you who love and support me in my mission, and I am so sorry I haven't been as thankful as I should be.
Well, last Monday I had a sit down with my zone leaders. They talked to me about everything that I was feeling and how I was struggling. Elder Julander asked me if I had received a confirmation of my new assignment. I told him I had been praying about it, and that I hadn't received one yet. He directed me to Enos and asked "How long did Enos wait for an answer?" Well, he waited all night. So Elder Julander asked "Are you willing to wait all night for an answer?" I honestly wasn't right then, but as he asked me that question and talked to me, my heart was softened. Seriously like actually softened like clay to the point that I really could wait all night for an answer. Then he said "Sister Erbe, you feel like you have been drowning. You are exhausted and don't think that you can swim anymore. But maybe God is throwing you a lifeline right now, and you can't or won't recognize it. Sister Erbe, what if Sister Wilbert is your lifeline." Well, I was willing to wait all night to find out if she was or not. That night we went home and Sister Mills headed off to Brazil. We got ready for bed and then turned out the lights. I prayed for seriously like 45 minutes +. I needed an answer and I was willing to wait until I got one. So, I waited for a long time, and then I had this sentence pop into my head "Sister Erbe, would she love the savior?" Well, obviously I am an incredibly immature 20 year old who has kind of thrown a little tantrum and been a brat. I haven't been like the Savior and I have tried my hardest. So, Heavenly Father had a long discussion about what I personally could do to help my companion and to give her some hope. After that, I crawled into bed. But have you ever had those nights where you pray and then close your prayer, crawl into bed and keep praying just because you want to talk to him? Yeah that was my Monday night. I was on my knees for a long time, but I was talking to my Father in Heaven for an even longer time. 

Tuesday morning we woke up and did what we needed to. Companionship study came and I told Sister Wilbert the truth about how I felt about everything. I tried to do it in a constructive Christlike way so that she would know that I still love her. She was honest with me too, and we set some goals to be better. Then, each of us set some companionship rules that we were going to live by. We set 6 rules. 
1-Be completely honest and accept complete honesty with kindness.
2-No yelling, that's not how Heavenly Father talks to us.
3-Have fun
4-Stop. drop. and pray. When we are stressed or contention arises, we pray immediately.
5-Say our highlights of the day at the end of each day. Reflect on the good things.
6-Defend each other.
These rules are things that I have learned from my parents my whole life, maybe they weren't listed out, but they are things that they taught me. I am so thankful for my goodly parents! :) 

Wednesday was seriously perfect, we had no contentions no issues, we worked together in perfect harmony. :) 

Thursday was the same, we went out and mostly visited less actives.

Friday we hit some roadblocks though. There was a pretty heated political discussion between Sister Wilbert and one of the Less actives. She wanted me to back her up and I couldn't because I don't even know what the heck is going on in the world....nor do I want to know. (So don't any of you tell me!) But it was pretty rough. She was really mad at me that night and even into Saturday. 

Sunday came and I spent the day fasting and praying because I didn't want things to go downhill. Well, last night we decided to have a little movie party. We had chocolate and watched the testaments. We laughed and took crazy pictures and told jokes and it was really really fun. 

So, what I have learned this week: 1- I need to have more charity and compassion for people. 2- I might not get to choose the situations I am in, but "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." 3- If I choose to be happy then I will be happy. 4- I have learned truly that I am a daughter of God and that I Sister Erbe have infinite potential that I haven't even begun to tap into yet. 

Well, sorry no updates on investigators or anything, I just felt like this was most important for me to share with all of you this week. I seriously love you, I don't tell anybody enough, but, I really do! :) Thank you so much for all of your support and letters and emails and everything that everyone does to help me. I love you all! Have an awesome week! LOVES!

-Sister Malynne Erbe

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