Thanks mom. :) So, this week was actually really good. On Monday after we finished emailing we went to the church and I had a long talk with my zone leaders. I bawled the whole time and I told them that I didn't want to do this and I was just ready to come home. Elder Julander asked if I had prayed about my assignment and I told him yes, but hadn't gotten an answer yet. He then directed me to Enos. He asked me if I would read it and so I did, and then he said "How long did Enos pray?" All night. So he asked if I was willing to wait all night for an answer. I told him that I didn't know. He promised me that I would get an answer and then I would feel better. He then said "Sister Erbe, you feel like you're drowning because you're too tired to keep swimming. So, maybe Heavenly Father is throwing you a lifeline...maybe, she is your lifeline." So, that night we went home and Sister Mills left. Then we got ready for bed and said our prayers. I prayed for 45 minutes and just begged and begged for an answer. Then I had this thought pop into my head "Would she love the Savior?" Well, I very obviously have been a horrible brat and need to grow up and be more Christlike. So, I prayed and asked how Heavenly Father would have me do that. So, we talked about it, and came up with ideas. The next day we had a long discussion. We then took turns making companionship rules, we set 6 of them. I sent you a picture of them so you can see them. Then we set 6 companionship goals that we will work on throughout the week. We promised that we would have companionship prayers at night. Every night we talk about the good things that happened during the day. We have been able to talk openly and figure things out together. I also am able to report to my Heavenly Father each night and tell him how my day was and what kind of a missionary and leader I was that day. She truly has become the lifeline that I have needed. The thing that I never thought that I wanted, was the one thing that is helping me to not feel like I am drowning anymore. I know that I am closer to the Lord, and I have him and his son to buoy me up when I don't feel like swimming anymore. They always throw us lifelines. They won't take us out of the water, but they will give us something to help our heads to stay above it. Sometimes though we don't recognize those lifelines that they give us and we think "What the heck is this stupid round thing, I need a boat!" No we don't need a boat, we just have to stay afloat. :) Yep, that's what I've learned this week. Please forgive me for overreacting, I was just scared and needed someone who would listen to me. I love you mom, you are the best and you always know how to make me feel better. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you in a few months...but I can wait until my mission is over ha ha. The people in Whitefish deserve more than I can offer them and I will serve as hard as I can until they cart me away in the transfer van. :P I love you lots!
-Sister Malynne Erbe
On Sun, Mar 16, 2014 at 7:29 PM, Jacinda Erbe <firstname.lastname@example.org> wrote:
Not a single day has gone by that I have not thought of you this week. I hope you are doing better. I was thinking about you all day at church, hoping to hear something that I could say to you that would calm your heart and your head. I heard a lot of things. But....there was one thing that I have been thinking about and maybe this is the thing I need to share with you (If you think it doesn't apply then just discard it).
So...our lesson in RS was about the Sacrament/more specifically about Christ and the Sacrament. There were a lot of things said that were all good and important, but Sister Allison made the comment that before he was crusified Christ washed the feet of his apostles. He EVEN washed the feel of Judas Iscariot.....knowing that he would be betrayed by him. He, in his darkest hour, continued to love and serve those around him. It was right after washing the feet of ALL of his apostles that he said, "As I have loved you, love one another". I think that for most of us, loving others when they have hurt us, continue to hurt us and have no intention of changing their behavior, are the hardest ones to love. They are the ones that Christ is hoping we will reach out to and show Christ like love. I don't know if that will help you, but it is something I am going to try hard to apply in my life, and something I know I will be thinking about a lot this week.
So....dad gets his braces off tomorrow morning. He is so excited!!!!! I am excited to see him without them.
We are getting a sliding door in the dining room!!! So excited!!!!
We are getting a new couch upstairs, taking the brown ones downstairs and we gave the green futon away.
We are also getting a new front door. I think you will like it.
I am getting tired of working my two jobs. I am thinking I will work through the summer and then be done at Vinyl Industries. I have been thinking of making them a proposition (if you like this idea I will do it when you get home). My proposition will be for me to train you at no extra cost to them if they will hire you. It would be a job that pays good and you would be working with Mindy, Maddie and a girl named Chelsea that you would like. I will not bring this up to them or to you until you get home and decide what you want to do.
I know you are not focusing on coming home, but I must tell you that I am ready for you to be home. I have missed you too much. I want you to finish your mission strong. I want you to focus on the feelings you have and the closeness you have with the Savior and with your Heavenly Father. I want you to cherish this time.
I love you! I will be watching for your letter tomorrow.